Muslims in America tend to act more American than Muslim. Dating and premarital sex are what you will find when you are seeking a spouse. As daunting as this is, add that maybe you are a convert and you thought all Muslims were very reilgious and would never act like this!

It was once said to me, “90% of all Muslims in America are not serious Muslims.” I do not know 90% of all Muslims nor can I pass judgment but I have been in the shoes of seeking a partner in times past and 98% of all Muslim men wanted sex outside of marriage, who did not want to commit to marriage, who wanted to marry me for a Green Card, who wanted to take me as a second wife but couldn’t maintain the fairness factor, men who thought that all Americans are “easy to land in bed"

I do not know why for that reason why a so called “Muslim” by name would specifically sign up for a Muslim Matrimonials to see a Muslim when they are doing nothing in the way of the teachings of their religion.

Seeking Marriage in American is down right is the worst experience and I would use a swear word here but because I am Muslim I shall refrain.  It’s just THAT bad! Ya Allah!

You go to your local Imam and ask for him to RECOMMEND any brothers who are pious and seeking marriage and he gives your contact information to the prospective brother and he contacts you (no Imam involved at this point) and you meet in a public place and he speaks to you and all is well, but you have feeling because you are insecure that he will not likely call you back and so you took time for an effort that almost makes you want to cry. To your surprise he calls you back to meet in a public place. He then says to you he is not ready for marriage but he wanted to know if you wanted to have sex in a nearby hotel. Ya Allah! You tell the Imam what happened and he too is shocked and said, “He comes to the masjed all the time for prayer, I am so sorry sister, I could never believe he would do such a thing. “

Imams obviously do not know the men in which Muslim women are to meet. We assume as females that the Imam will be well in touch with his ummah and knows who is a good pious Muslim and who is not. But like we tend to like to think we know someone, they can surprise us with an amazing amount of shock at times. And so no one ever really can know someone unless they grow up with them and see him how he acts as a child, as a teen, as a young adult. You know his family. Maybe at that point you would know someone well enough to say, “I can vouch for him, he is a good brother in Islam” the two of your either find that you both are suitable seekers of marriage or if one of you has other plans.

Do not approach marriage as a happily ever after deal. Be happy with where you are now in whatever circumstance you are in and do not place so much of your emotional energy into seeking, feeling bad when you are not chosen, feeling sad when it takes so long. We know too often it’s not the fault of the sisters, although as the saying goes, “It takes two to Tango.” In this case I think its much more the problem with the Muslim Men in American tend to want to do it the American way and then I have to ask them why do you seek a Muslim woman?