We received an e-mail from a banner exchange program indicating we were within the top 3 on Page 1 for Muslim Matrimonials in Google. I didn't believe it because whenever I looked it was within the top 10 sites in Google, well yesterday Habibi indeed the Top 2 even beating zawaj dot com who has been around for 14 years or longer and we have been on 3 years. Alhamdollilah!
Insha Allah that will help us gain more members who are good prospects for you to choose from.
Since seeing is believing here is a snap shot that I was able to take to share with you!

 

5th Imam to Join the Ranks at Habibi Matrimonials!

Shaikh Habeeb Alli from Toronto, Canada joined the ranks at Habibi Matrimonials being our 5th Imam to date. And our 1st Imam from Canada to help represent the single Muslims from his area.
Shaikh Habeeb Ali is an author, scholar, poet and educator. He was born in Enmore, Guyana. He grew up in Guyana during his formative years and then pursued his graduate studies in India after graduating from Queen’s College. He returned to Guyana after completing a Masters in Islam and Arabic Language along with a diploma in Journalism.
Habeeb immigrated to Canada almost a decade ago and presently resides in Toronto with his family and works as a Professor, Communications Coordinator and a Federal Chaplain. He has taught Islam and Arabic within the Ontario Curriculum and is an Executive Writer for The Ambition Newspaper in Toronto.
He has authored fourteen books on Islam and poetry. Since arriving in Canada, he has taught world religions and has been actively writing fiction and non-fiction books that are both thoughtful and informative. His latest book, “Intimacy and the Sacred – In Muslim Communities” talks about sexuality in the light the Quran and Sunnah within modern society.
In addition, Mr. Alli has published numerous articles and has been a guest lecturer at many conferences. He is often invited in the media to speak on Islam and contemporary issues within the Canadian context.
Imam Habeeb is a member of the Canadian Council of Imams, and an Executive at the Pakaraima Writers Association. He volunteers in a number of social justice projects and participates in numerous interfaith dialogues in Toronto.

Muslims in America tend to act more American than Muslim. Dating and premarital sex are what you will find when you are seeking a spouse. As daunting as this is, add that maybe you are a convert and you thought all Muslims were very reilgious and would never act like this!

It was once said to me, “90% of all Muslims in America are not serious Muslims.” I do not know 90% of all Muslims nor can I pass judgment but I have been in the shoes of seeking a partner in times past and 98% of all Muslim men wanted sex outside of marriage, who did not want to commit to marriage, who wanted to marry me for a Green Card, who wanted to take me as a second wife but couldn’t maintain the fairness factor, men who thought that all Americans are “easy to land in bed"

I do not know why for that reason why a so called “Muslim” by name would specifically sign up for a Muslim Matrimonials to see a Muslim when they are doing nothing in the way of the teachings of their religion.

Seeking Marriage in American is down right is the worst experience and I would use a swear word here but because I am Muslim I shall refrain.  It’s just THAT bad! Ya Allah!

You go to your local Imam and ask for him to RECOMMEND any brothers who are pious and seeking marriage and he gives your contact information to the prospective brother and he contacts you (no Imam involved at this point) and you meet in a public place and he speaks to you and all is well, but you have feeling because you are insecure that he will not likely call you back and so you took time for an effort that almost makes you want to cry. To your surprise he calls you back to meet in a public place. He then says to you he is not ready for marriage but he wanted to know if you wanted to have sex in a nearby hotel. Ya Allah! You tell the Imam what happened and he too is shocked and said, “He comes to the masjed all the time for prayer, I am so sorry sister, I could never believe he would do such a thing. “

Imams obviously do not know the men in which Muslim women are to meet. We assume as females that the Imam will be well in touch with his ummah and knows who is a good pious Muslim and who is not. But like we tend to like to think we know someone, they can surprise us with an amazing amount of shock at times. And so no one ever really can know someone unless they grow up with them and see him how he acts as a child, as a teen, as a young adult. You know his family. Maybe at that point you would know someone well enough to say, “I can vouch for him, he is a good brother in Islam” the two of your either find that you both are suitable seekers of marriage or if one of you has other plans.

Do not approach marriage as a happily ever after deal. Be happy with where you are now in whatever circumstance you are in and do not place so much of your emotional energy into seeking, feeling bad when you are not chosen, feeling sad when it takes so long. We know too often it’s not the fault of the sisters, although as the saying goes, “It takes two to Tango.” In this case I think its much more the problem with the Muslim Men in American tend to want to do it the American way and then I have to ask them why do you seek a Muslim woman?

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
San Jose, California, United States of America (Free-Press-Release.com) May 12, 2012 -- Habibi Matrimonials was created in May 2009 after a favorite site closed down (Muslim Matrimonials Network) and members were given the option to relocate to another website. There was a fleeting thought that to create another site like the one that closed down would be “easy.”

The name is from my Orange Tabby Cat named “Habibi” meaning "my love" in Arabic and perfectly fitting for a Muslim Matrimonials, she felt.

With just Corporate Sales experience “it was the toughest sales job I ever had with the least amount of reward”, replied Habibi Matrimonials owner.

“I do not tend to agree that in order to make a site, a quality site that you have to get members to pay.” Said Habibi Matrimonials “Some say, free sites are not well managed. ‘True in some sense but not in my world.” replied Habibi Matrimonials. “I have the time to manage the site 11 hours a day, and thus I watch my site as IF I were paid to watch it. “

“Many Muslims tend to have bad opinion about Muslim Matrimonials and this can make it for anyone to get to the top extremely difficult. Unless you have a lot of cash to pay for ads which often you like to get your investment back and then you charge members. I didn’t want to tread on that path, so with a lot of constant diligence, we received support from quality sponsors.” said Habibi Matrimonials.

“I didn’t plan to be different from the beginning. I was thinking to be like all the others, but that is not a good idea when Muslim Matrimonials were growing in much negativity with the Muslim population. And I felt that negativity when I was seeking help. I felt there is a reason why to do the right thing (halal) is not found on Muslim Matrimonials and that is because it is the hardest way.”

“On Yahoo Answers we asked the Muslims “How can Muslim Matrimonials be different” & ‘What’s wrong with Muslim Matrimonials?” I was listening for real responses. One wrote back that, “Muslim Matrimonials are all bad and should not exist IF they did have to exist it would be only for the Imams to have access to and none of the single female Muslims.” It was then the idea was sprouted to gain Imams. I kind of felt that would be difficult but I am not afraid of difficult.” Continued Habibi Matrimonials.

“We cannot brag we have thousands of profiles, because we often delete profiles to ensure the pool is a serious mix of good prospect for Marriage. We use the e-mail to send out monthly e-mails and we do not care if you do not open the e-mails, but we do care when they bounce back. It is then the profile is deleted. If a member suspends their profile, it will be deleted. If someone joins and wants to play, they are deleted.” Replied Habibi Matrimonials. With all real profiles and a zero tolerance on scammers/spammers makes for Habibi Matrimonails to be exactly what she claims it to be.

The day when you can say "there is one good Muslim Matrimonials" is here and now.

It’s been three years and Habibi Matrimonials is in the Top 10 for Muslim Matrimonials according to Google.com and Alexa.com

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here is an unspoken law with sons who were born in the Middle East and this law is not something that is often not discussed prior to marriage. A revert to Islam may have no clue this law exists and she should know.

The unspoken law I am speaking about it the maintenance her future Mother in law will receive if her husband has passed away. As you know there is no Social Security set up in other lands in the way it helps the aged parents. The only social security your future mother-in-law has is the sons she has brought to this life. While you may be very thankful that she raised such a great future husband, you may be in for somewhat of a surprised how much of your funds are spent for her welfare, medication in her country. If there are many sons than the many sons can share the cost of maintaining mom but usually it falls on the first born son. If the first born son cannot afford to send money to Mom then he will ask his other male siblings to take over and thus she is never left without. It’s a great system for caring for Mom. It is well known that in Islam heaven is under the feet of our Muslim Mothers and thus the adult children will do all they can to please Momma.

In America we the system is so different and not that it’s better, it is just different.  In America we have Social Security and Medicare to help sustain Mom.  Mom may receive anything she needs from her children (male or female) but we are more relaxed and sometimes even tight wad about helping our Moms.  Whereas the female child in the Middleast who is married will not be responsible for her own Mother for her finances, but maybe she will care for her for other means.  The daughter will only be responsible for Mother-in-law and so this neat little system pretty much ensures that she will be taken care of based on the means of her son(s).

Moms in America can be sent to a retirement homes/ nursing homes-left alone to never be seen from again or receive regular visits.  The idea that mom comes to live within your home is not taken for granted. If Mom cannot live by herself in her own home, she is either left to live her years in a retirement/nursing home or left to struggle on her own. Moms in USA may live without heat,  medical care and even proper nutrition even though USA is considered an advanced social system.

If you see a Mom in the Middle East being ignored, it will be extremely rare.   Daughters- in- laws should know how much her husband plans to take from their income to support the Mother-in –law. They should speak about this before the marriage.  If there is a father in law in the picture and he is unable to support his wife he will also be sent support payments.  It also depends on which country they come from and how wealthy the country is to support its own people.

 

Seeking friends on a Muslim Matrimonials means to seekers of marriage that you are not serious.  You can display a beard down to your navel but it won’t hide the fact that you’re wording is an outright intention not to be serious for marriage.  You will be seen as someone looking at the goods but not offering anything for those goods. Women who want to marry do not want to be approached by men who have intention for friendship.

It means that despite you pray 5 times a day and fast in Ramadan and give to the needy that you behind closed doors would dive into haram relationships with women. A Muslim man who joins any Muslim Matrimonials should well know that his intention for friendship is seen in this manner.  Even if the Muslim Matrimonials uses such wording in their profile set up!

Americanized Muslim men tend to think seeking friendships with Muslim women online is okay.  I am in the understanding that it is not okay and here are references to back that up;

Narrated Ibn Abbas: "That he heard the Prophet saying, ' It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman, and no lady should travel except with a Muhram (i.e. her husband or a person whom she cannot marry in any case for ever; e.g. her father, brother, etc.).' Then a man got up and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have enlisted in the army for such-and-such ghazwa and my wife is proceeding for Hajj.' Allah's Apostle said, ' Go, and perform the Hajj with your wife.'"

Narrated Abdullah bin Abbas: "Al-Fadl (his brother) was riding behind Allah's Apostle and a woman from the tribe of Khath'am came and Al-Fadl started looking at her and she started looking at him. The Prophet turned Al-Fadl's face to the other side." (Bukhari)

"Enjoin the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that is safer for them. Surely Allah is well aware of their actions. Likewise enjoin the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; not to display their beauty and ornaments except what normally appears thereof; let them draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their charms except to their husbands, their fathers, their fathers-in-law, their own sons, their stepsons, their own brothers, their nephews on either brothers' or sisters' sides, their own womenfolk, their own slaves, male attendants who lack sexual desires or small children who have no carnal knowledge of women. Also enjoin them not to strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden trinkets. And O believers! Turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, about your past mistakes, so that you may attain salvation." (24:30-31)

"And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way." (17:32)

Women who speak to men with the intention for marriage and you find out he has no intention to marry you and requests that you “remain friends.” Do not do so.  Mention that you have come to this decision through your religious understanding.  Men have a tendency to make women feel weak when she is seeking a spouse, especially after years of seeking. She can feel very confident about herself and her abilities to be a good wife and mother but in the end men tend to weaken the knees of women especially while in the phase of seeking a husband.

Many Muslim Matrimonials open the door wide open as a ploy to gain memberships, even if they are owned by Muslims themselves. As an Admin myself I can fully understand the desire to populate their site but if any Muslim Matrimonials is going to stand upright in the eyes of Allah (swt) we would have to do it the honest way and that is not to fool the Muslims to become attracted to the wrong path.

In the end we hope our members would be thoughtful NOT to tread down the path of seeking, "Friendship" on a Muslim Matrimonials.

Dr. Gulzar Ahmad, a Marriage Family Educator and Counselor from Kingdom of Bahrain has agreed to Join Habibi Matrimonials to help the members from all corners of the world. Habibi Matrimonials is extremely pleased with his open willingness and eagerness to help the fellow Muslim members.
Dr. Gulzar Ahmad is also a Professor/ Consultant & Trainer & Corporate Management & Leadership at Buchen Group and President at Pakistan Council on Family Relations!
His objectives on his personal website are ones of immense importance like;
* To provide knowledge, skill and support to the families requiring intervention for alleviating their sufferings, and suggesting them ways and means to safeguard against the ailments, and maintain and promote their mental health.
*To educate the (prospective) couples the ways and means for healthy marital life.
* To work against man-woman-and-child abuse and neglect in families.
* To mitigate and eliminate violence in the family.
You may contact Dr. Gulzar Ahmad when you join our website for the intention of seeking marriage or at his personal website.
It is with extreme pleasure that we at Habibi Matrimonials welcome Dr. Gulzar Ahmad. He is an important link in the health of a  Muslim Matrimonials and the Muslim members, one in which you will someday refer your single friends, Insha Allah.